Thursday, September 16, 2010


Teresa likes to constantly remind us that "I have foy be-yoootiful doowters" (that's my attempt to type a New Jersey dialect)

I'm confused. I thought she said the love child rumor was just that. Does this mean I'll never again get to hear her yell, "Spank me, Joe!" (Yell that out loud while pinching your nose to get the full effect)?

I hope not. Joe's like a cuddly, drunk koala. That's an anomaly too, because I hear that koala's are quite cranky. Whether koalas are crankier than a scorned guidette whose husband fathered a love child with his mistress, I couldn't say.
I know what you're thinking. He's adorable. Resist the urge to squish his chubby little face in. Teresa will cut a bitch. She's from Paterson, remember?
I do play favorites, and my favorite little guidette is Milania. I'm a sucker for a four year old with her own catch phrase: "Fab-u-lousssss!" (Again, yell it with a pinched nose)

I don't know what Danielle Staub was talking about when she said Teresa dresses her daughters the way Danielle dresses her dogs. I swear we never, ever dressed my roommate's chihuahua, Foxy in anything of this sort. Did I mention that today is opposite day?

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