Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Michael Bolton Gets Sent to Live on a Farm

I knew Michael Bolton was getting da boot last night, and I didn't even have to consult my Magic 8 Ball.  What I didn't expect was for Michael to take judge Bruno Tonioli to task for his harsh criticism. Our "Soul Provider" put Bruno on blast, calling him "rude" and "disrespectful". He didn't have the cajones to say it to Bruno's face, though. He said it to Brooke Burke's microphone in the little off-stage holding room for the dancers. Way to be assertive, Mike. When I tell people off, I enjoy direct eye contact. It demonstrates a level of respect I think that person deserves, and it helps me to know that my message really resonates. But your way is good, too.

Bruno's job is to judge a ballroom dancing competition, and his schtick is to say flamboyant, outrageous things. Michael and Chelsie's jive performance, from what little I understand about ballroom, demonstrated everything that is wrong with ballroom dance. For Michael to be offended that Bruno said "That's the worst jive I've seen in 11 years" and not be offended by Len Goodman's more colorfully worded "That needed a pooper scooper" critique, is baffling. For Michael to be offended by criticism at all is sort of like a matador wearing red and then being furious when the bull charges him. My point is, Michael was asking for ridicule and should have expected it.

If he wants to be mad, he should blame Chelsie Hightower. She should have known better. Now, if she decided she didn't want to be on the show, or that after being partnered with Jake Pavelka last season and Michael Bolton this season that she'd had enough of all this and just wants to go to Oktoberfest, she did exactly the right thing. That dance was ballroom suicide.

If she maintains that she thought this dog concept was a winning idea and that she sincerely acted in Michael Bolton's best interests, well then this dancer's judgment is so flawed, I wouldn't allow her to dog sit for my mutts.

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