Dancing with the Stars Week 1

I have to make a confession: When this show debuted, I thought it was the most ridiculous premise for a TV show of all time, that it would fade into obscurity as quickly as Skating with Celebrities and would be as embarrassing for all involved as Joe Millionaire. I also thought reality television was a passing fad. I. Was. Wrong.

I did not begin watching DWTS until last season, and now I'm hooked. I'm especially excited about this season; not because I'm a tremendous fan of any of the contestants, but because there isn't a Nicole Scherzinger- or Even Lysacek-type ringer in the group. It's truly a return to what this competition is supposed to be about, which is celebrities learning how to dance with the help of a professional. Me gusta.

Here's a rundown of my thoughts on last night's episode:

Most Pleasant Surprise: Kyle Massey. Not only was he charming, he gave a terrific performance. I look forward to seeing him perform throughout the season.

Most Unexpected Display of Emotion: I should have seen this coming, but I didn't, so I cried along with Jennifer Grey when watching Derek Hough choreograph their routine to a song from Dirty Dancing brought back bittersweet memories of the late Patrick Swayze.

Worse Than I Expected: David Hasselhoff. I knew some of the others would be weak dancers, ranging from dreadful to comical, but nothing prepared me for how painfully awful The Hoff was.

Better Than I Expected: Audrina Patridge. She should be proud of her performance. She clearly has room for improvement, but I think she'll rise to the occasion. The audience likes to see the contestants develop their skills, and I have no doubt we'll get to see Audrina do just that.

Most Uncomfortable Moment: Margaret Cho's wardrobe malfunction. You're not ready for props, sweetie. It's too bad, because I like her.

Sassiest: Florence Henderson. I found her to be more dynamic and interesting than I expected. And may I say, she has had the most gorgeous plastic surgery. I mean that as a compliment. She looks beautiful and ageless.

Favorite Pro: Lacey Schwimmer. Cute as a button.

"Shut Up" Moment: Derek Hough acting like a horse's ass while Brooke Burke was trying to talk seriously to Jennifer Grey about her emotional state dancing after the death of her friend Patrick Swayze.

Eye Roll Moment: Tom Bergeron introducing Bristol Palin as a "Teen Activist".

More Likeable Than I Expected: The Situation. The luckiest guy in showbusiness.

My Pick to Win the Whole Thing: Jennifer Grey

The One I Wish Was Being Eliminated: Bristol Palin

My Week 1 Elimination Prediction: Margaret Cho