Last Friday, we lost our internet connection at work. Something to do with a modem password, blah, blah, blah. I'd rather be shipped to Guantanamo Baby (typo, but keeping it) than have to spend a day at work without my internet. To attempt to rectify the situation, I called AT&T, but in order for customer service to help me, I had to provide the answer to a security question.
We're a corporation based out of Canada. I have no idea where the bill goes, let alone who would know the answer to this question. I am so tired and exasperated, I tell Esteban, the customer service rep, I don't even want to venture a guess. By this time, I have apparantly endeared myself to Esteban, and he tells me that the answer to the security question, "Who is your favorite singer?" starts with the letter "E".
I have no...freaking...idea. My mind is blank. I begin trying to sound it out like I'm a contestant on Wheel of Fortune. I try to visualize the CD aisle at Best Buy, I try to think of songs. I got nothin'. Am I brain dead? Am I so reliant on Google that I can no longer brainstorm independently? After a minute of stammering, I suggest Eric Clapton. This guess is incorrect. Dammit. That was the best I could do. My boss walks into my office. Maybe she has a fresh idea. "Can you name a singer or musical group that begins with the letter "E"? Her answer, without a moment's hesitation, is "No." She's no help at all. Now for a Hail Mary pass: "Enrique Iglesias?" to which Esteban replies, "No." Trying to save face, I respond, "Yeah, Enrique isn't my favorite either..." But now the damage is done. I'm picturing Enrique (before he had his mole removed) and the video for "Hero" is running through my mind. It's Jennifer Love Hewitt's best work. Besides Can't Hardly Wait.
Then, the clouds part, and the sun shines down upon me. Of course! I am such. An. Idiot. "Oh my gosh, Esteban, it's "Elvis", isn't it?" Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner! [eye roll, shaking head] Basically the most famous person to ever live (aside from Jesus, of course), and he is my third guess, after Eric Clapton and Enrique Iglesias for a famous singer whose name begins with the letter "E". That's nothing short of an epic FAIL. I quit. Oh, and the internet still isn't working. The only thing to really do now is take something chocolate and dip it in chocolate.