Too Much Information?

I think most first-time expectant moms would agree with me that it is so comforting and helpful to have my own mom around as I prepare for my baby's arrival. Since my mom lives in Alabama and I live in Texas, I typically only see her about ten days out of the year. With a baby on the way, I've gotten more quality time with Mom than I am used to, but I had to go on blogging hiatus because, well...Mom doesn't know I blog!

Mom is a social networking hold-out. She finds it baffling that people want to share so much detail about their personal lives on the internet. In a lot of ways, I understand where she's coming from. We as a society do share a lot of information - from the intimate to the mundane - with friends, acquaintances, and even strangers via social networking tools like Facebook and Blogger. For the uninitiated, I can see how this practice could be viewed as bizarre. I have not helped matters in how I introduced the concept of social networking to her.

She once asked me to explain Facebook, so I described the profile page, the pictures, the ability to add "friends" and post status updates. I lost her at "status update":

Me: I can share with my friends whatever I am thinking or feeling at the moment: "Samantha is excited about the Sex and the City Movie", "Samantha is shoe shopping", "Samantha is craving a chimichanga". Then, one of my friends might respond, "OMG, I could totally go for a chimi right now!"
Mom: Are you serious? That sounds really narcissistic and self-indulgent.
Me: Hi, I'm Samantha. Have we met? Whatever, it's a great way to keep in touch with old friends. Remember Xxxx Xxxxxxx from middle school?
Mom: Sure. I haven't seen her in 15 years. How is she?
Me: Fine, I guess. I haven't spoken to her in years. But I know she had a ham sandwich for lunch today. And remember Xxxxxxxxx Xxxxxx from high school?
Mom: Oh yeah, that cute girl?
Me: Yeah. That cute girl. Well, I saw pictures of her newborn baby all covered in blood and afterbirth. It's like I was right there in the delivery room!
Mom: That seems so wrong.

As time went on, I continued to say things to her that reinforced her belief that Facebook is for weirdos bent on over sharing:

Me: Hey, guess what? So-and-so is engaged!
Mom: That's wonderful! When did that happen?
Me: About two hours ago.
Mom: You read that on Facebook?
Me: Yep.

Mom: How is so-and-so doing?
Me: She's one centimeter dilated.
Mom: She told you that?
Me: Yeah, she told me...and her 749 other Facebook friends.
Mom: She discusses her cervix on the internet with 750 other people?
Me: Uh huh.

So today, I'm talking to her about the other mommies-to-be who I know, and I am a surprising wealth of information. This leads her to ask me quizzically, "You don't blog, do you?"

Me: Oh no. I don't do that.
Mom: Oh, good. I think that is so weird.
Me: Totally weird.
Mom: I just cannot understand how people are so self-involved and attention-seeking, they feel the need to write down their innermost thoughts and feelings and post it on the internet. And then there are people who actually read it!
Me: Downright disturbing is what it is!

I realize that I'm 28-years-old and that lying to my mom about the existence of a blog is the dictionary definition of "loser". Given what she had said about blogs though, I didn't really feel like divulging that I freely publish every thought, idea, and opinion that crosses my mind, up to and including thoughts, ideas, and opinions related to my reproductive parts. She would find my complete lack of inhibitions surprising. I'm sure she'll discover my blog eventually, but for now I'll just continue being a closeted blogger.

Blogger's note: to my blogging buddies whose blogs are intended to share family photos, daily adventures, and your travels with far-flung family and friends, my mom does not think your blog is weird. Like you care.