If I've Heard it Once...

...I've heard it a hundred times:

"Ugh, I just hate going to funerals."

Umm...news flash, Trixie:  everybody hates going to funerals. A coworker made this comment to me today, and since I'm in a bad mood, that was the reply I shot back. Then I vented to my brother via Google Chat. He offered that a person could be psyched to go to a funeral if they love to wear black and snack on finger foods and enjoy organ music. True...but that isn't why we attend funerals. A funeral is one of the few occasions that it isn't all about me, it's about paying respects to someone who passed on. I'm not supposed to be comfortable, or happy, or entertained. I'm just supposed to honor and respect. And dress and behave appropriately.

I was so distraught after the last funeral I attended, I bought a bottle of wine...after spending $1000 in Saks Fifth Avenue in less than an hour. This is why I can't have credit cards. After showing my purchases to my mom, she was like, "You're taking all this back, right? Right?" Of course I was taking it back after I calmed down and came to my senses...except for the big, dramatic Jackie O sunglasses, which I was already wearing. Indoors. And the eyeshadow I had bought for Mom. She didn't object to keeping that purchase. But I went to the funeral.

Anyway, that's my public service announcement. Stop declaring that you don't "like" funerals. Nobody does, and that's the point. Go or don't go. Don't expect to enjoy yourself. Class dismissed.