Gary Coleman's Wife is Elle Driver

I told you that ginge was not to be trusted! My "Sketch Ass" radar went into overdrive when I read she pulled the plug on husband Gary Coleman's life support mere hours after he went into a coma. Now TMZ has uncovered that Gary divorced this broad back in 2008 and she got nuttin' in the settlement. The 911 tapes were released, and we've learned that his fatal injury occured while he was in the kitchen making a snack for her lazy ass. I guess he just didn't know how to quit her. And would you believe that she told the 911 dispatcher she didn't want to go downstairs to help him because she wasn't feeling well? And, once the dispatcher insisted she march her fat ass down there ASAP, she didn't want to administer first aid because the sight of his blood was giving her the creeps? Shady, shady, Shannon. That's some Kill Bill assassin shit right there.

Thanks to this Google Image Search, the sound of Elle Driver, A.K.A. California Mountain Snake cheerily whistling as she marches through the hospital to kill Beatrix Kiddo will play in my head all day. That, and the Golden Girls theme song. That's completely unrelated to this post.