"Oh, but it wasn't a dream! It was a place! And you - and you - and you - and you were there. But you couldn't have been, could you?"
I'm a pretty open-minded person, so it takes a lot to shock me. As a result, I've had my share of bizarre, often candid conversations. This is just one of those conversations:
Me: Today is the worst. You should totally drink a beer or seven after work.
Dave: I've been sober since I was incarcerated.
Dave: Yeah, since I served time in prison.
Me: That's what I thought "incarcerated" meant.
Me: Did you kill somebody?
Dave: No, I robbed a Subway.
Me: Like a subway station?
Dave: Like a Subway sandwich shop.
Me: Why did you rob a Subway sandwich shop?
Dave: To get money to score drugs.
Me: So what, did you just storm into a Subway and demand that the Sandwich Artist empty the register?
Me: I ate lunch at Subway yesterday. A six-inch sub, chips, and a drink cost like, four bucks. Exactly how much cash did you expect to get?
Dave: I dunno, we got a couple hundred bucks.
Me: I just think, of all the places you could've robbed...at gunpoint?
Dave: Yeah, at gunpoint.
Me: Ok, of all the places you could've robbed at gunpoint, I just think you could have chosen a place with greater cash flow. You could have scored a lot more drugs.
Dave: Yeah, I was high...I wasn't really thinking things through.
Me: Obviously. Wait, if you were convicted of armed robbery, what are you doing here? I thought that carried like, a 20 year sentence or something.
Dave: Yeah, normally you'd be right. But it wasn't a real gun, so they could only put me away for a few years.
Me: Wow, lucky break.
Dave: Yeah, I feel lucky.
Me: So are you banned from Subway for life?
Dave: No, I still eat there sometimes.