Pregnancy is So Dreadfully Dull...

...that my new favorite thing to do is to tell myself that I could go into labor at any moment. I'm on the edge of my seat and filled with suspense. I realize that's unlikely to happen, because just about everybody I know who had a kid this year made it all the way to their due date, past their due date, exhausted every old wives' tale to trigger labor, and went straight to a scheduled induction or c-section. Which brings me to this question: if certain activities, like specific massage techniques, are to be avoided during pregnancy because they can cause premature labor, why aren't those activities employed as reliable at-home labor inducers? Pitocin, schmitocin, massage the heel of my foot! That'll get this party started! Anyway, the chances that my little niblet will make his grand entrance fashionably early is unlikely. I was born a week late and have been running behind schedule ever since.

My other favorite way to pass the time is by charting all the pregnant women I know. I have a Microsoft Excel Workbook for all things pregnancy: a tab for baby shopping list, a tab for baby shower guest addresses, a tab for my to-do list, and a tab for my Mama Tracker. Yeah, Facebook friends: when you announced you were due to deliver a baby in 2010, you got added to the Tracker. When you announced the baby's gender and name, I added that, too. As these friends gave birth, I entered the date of birth. Obsessive and stalkerish? I prefer to look at it like an advent calendar for pregnancy. Plus, it helps when having conversations with friends or family members and they ask, "So who else is having a baby?" or "What did so-and-so name her baby?" I can't be expected to remember all that information. I have pregnancy brain. That's why my blog is riddled with careless spelling errors and I can't remember how to get to my local Red Lobster. I currently know 48 women due to give birth in the year 2010, and there are only four more due to give birth before it's my turn! It's like waiting in line to ride the rollercoaster at Six Flags. I'm at the same time excited and nervous...and increasingly impatient.