Tuesday, June 8, 2010

How's That for a Birth Plan?

Jessica Taylor was being rushed to the hospital by baby daddy Jeremy Smith, when Denton County, Texas Deputy Jason Quigley pulled over their 2006 Nissan Armada for going 97 in a 55.

So Jeremy's all, "I was like, 'We got to go! She's pregnant, having the baby, let's go,' and he was like, 'No, hold on.'"

Typical men. During this time, Jessica takes matters into her own err...hands:

"They're still talking, so I just rip my pants down, he looks over, (and) the head's coming out, and he's screaming," Jessica said.

So right there, on the side of the road, Jeremy and Deputy Quigley birth this baby, 6 pound, 13 ounce Jayden Leigh Smith.

"He runs to his car and comes back with a police rain jacket. It's one of those black-and-yellow (ones), and now it's got baby all over it," Smith said with a smile.

That quote doesn't do this story justice. Read it again, this time with a southern drawl, the way I heard it on the news this morning:

"He ruuuuns ta his carrr and comes back wit a po-lice rayne jack-et. It's one a dose black n' yeller (ones), and now it's got baybee allllll oh-ver it," Smith said with a smile.

Gross. If the rain jacket is covered in "baby" I wonder how the upholstery of the Nissan Armada's looking right about now. It's condition will only improve in the Texas heat. That's going to look great on a Carfax report later.

The news anchors took great delight in bringing us this story today. They thought it was so funny. I know, because they said "This is funny." Maybe for you, homes. For me, this is the stuff of nightmares.

Source: NBC DFW

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