Wingman

Jarred's been spending time with Kelly lately. I heart Kelly. Jarred doesn't need my help with the ladies, but that doesn't stop me from throwing in my two-cents:

Me: When you seeing Kelly again?

Jarred: Monday or Wednesday. Dinner or maybe drinks. I like the low key stuff with her. I'd like to take her to Salvatore's for pizza.

Me: When you gonna take her on a fancy date?

Jarred: Take her to Brio and get her drunk on wine?

Me: Something a little more formal, that's all. Or distinctive. Something that isn't a chain.

Jarred: Salvatores shares a wall with Subway ok, its nice.
Me: Some place that takes reservations...something that didn't used to be a Popeye's...just take her someplace that doesn't wrap it's silverware in a paper napkin.

Jarred: Just say Cheesecake Factory, we both know you're thinking it.
Me: I said no chains.
Jarred: You think you're all Johnny Depp, but you need to wake up and realize you're Skeet Ulrich.

Me: What does that even mean?

Jarred: I don't know, but it seemed like an insulting thing to say.