A Day Without Makeup?

When I heard on the local news that a group of girls at Colleyville Heritage High School in nearby Colleyville, Texas made a "no makeup" pact to promote self-esteem, acceptance, and "redefine beauty", the very first thing that came to my mind was: whoever dreamt this up does not have blonde eyelashes. In high school, I spent roughly thirty minutes each morning applying makeup, only to be later asked by my classmates, "Samantha, how come you don't wear makeup?" [sigh]

In high school world, we can only wear jeans once a week, we can only wear a ponytail once a week, and on Wednesdays we wear pink. 

Now we should add "no-makeup Tuesdays" to the list. It's a sweet notion, really, like a child starting a lemonade stand to solve the national deficit. Going to school sans makeup highlights the biggest disparities between the haves and the have-nots in the looks department. Makeup levels the playing field.

This little girl with Heather Locklear is her 13-year-old daughter, Ava Sambora. Thirteen?! Imagine going to high school with her. I pretty much did go to high school with her, and I needed the entire Lancome counter just to keep up with her and be the "funny sidekick".

Another case in point: In the news package below, (that's what the pros call it right, a "package"?) reporter Susy Solis has a moment (around the :50 mark) where she decides to join the girls and bravely [eye roll] remove her makeup on camera with a moist towelette. Then we get to see side-by-side photos of her dark eyes and complexion and immaculately groomed eyebrows with and without makeup. I swear on Robinson's bouncy seat (which is sacred) that the woman looked exactly the same. I would also swear on Robinson's bouncy seat that half the reason she did it is so that her little interns and drones in the newsroom could inflate her ego with "Oh my gosh, Susy, you look exactly the same without makeup! You make me sick!" and Susy is all, "Oh, puh-lease! You are too much! Now go fetch me a latte. And it better be sugar free hazelnut this time! What do I have to do to get good help around here?" What I'm saying is, Susy is a princess. And about as subtle as a brick through a plate glass window.

Walk a mile in my abino ginger shoes and then talk to me about how "scary and liberating" it is for you to face the world without your eyeliner. Where my Accutane patients at? Holla! The only thing worse than having cystic acne in high school is being left out of the no-makeup club because you require two tablespoons of special Clarins spackle foundation (in color: alabaster whisper) just to leave the house.

If I sound bitter, I probably am. I'm bitter that I lack the Colleyville High girls' youthful optimism. On them, it's refreshing and lovely. And they really are beautiful. Plus, if 200+ girls are putting cosmetics aside, that leaves more mascara for my old crusty face.