No Baby Today, and No Baby Tomorrow

I've been saying since the very beginning of this pregnancy that I'm gonna go to the very end, past my due date, and straight on to induction town. Nobody believed me then, and nobody believes me now, because I still get lots of emails, messages, and texts asking "Baby?!?" Always with the question marks and the exclamation points. It's kind of funny, as if after all this time--40 weeks of pregnancy, a baby shower, a baby blog, baby Facebook status updates--that I would now conceal the existence of a child.

I'll be induced Thursday morning and by dinner time I should be holding a big, fat baby. He better be fat. I've been pregnant so long, he could be born with a full set of teeth and I wouldn't be surprised. I crossed a threshold when I passed my due date and transformed from calm and patient to miserable and disgruntled. I can't wait to not be a pregnant lady anymore. I'm especially excited to stop looking like present-day Val Kilmer and return to better days. Top Gun Val Kilmer, The Island of Dr. Moreau Val Kilmer, Batman Val Kilmer...I'm not asking for The Doors Val Kilmer, that's just too much to hope for, but The Saint Val Kilmer or Tombstone Val Kilmer would be nice. I'm just sayin'.