Tuesday, November 16, 2010

We're Way Past "Sugar-Coating"

How great is it when you get to the point in your relationship where you can speak without censoring yourself or sugar-coating anything? I asked Steve a very simple question the other day, and after listening to his reply, I realized that he would have given a totally different response to that same question if I had asked it ten years ago, when we were just dating...

Me: I want to put up the Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving. Are they in the attic in a place where I can easily bring them down?
What Steve Would've Said 10 Years Ago: Oh, no, don't you worry about that. I'll bring down the decorations. I love you!
What Present-Day Steve Actually Said: Uh...I would feel more comfortable if I were the one to bring down the decorations. I can't have your clumsy-ass falling.
Me: [blank stare]
Steve: You know you're clumsy, right? Right?

So, Steve from the past and the present doesn't want me climbing into the attic for fear I may sustain a traumatic brain injury, so he offers to do the heavy-lifting for me. Only "past" Steve feels the need to protect my feelings from the true reason for his desire to help me.

Boys just never learn though, do they? What Steve still hasn't figured out in ten years is that I never had any intention of bringing those Christmas decorations down by myself. When I asked, "Are the Christmas decorations in the attic in a place where I can easily bring them down?" I was really asking, "Will you bring down the Christmas decorations for me?" So now, Steve is doing the heavy-lifting for me, and he thinks it's his idea. And I don't risk falling out of the attic onto the concrete floor of the garage...because I am very clumsy. It's a win-win.

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