Friday, August 20, 2010

A Fairytale Post Script

Well, color me smug. You remember my evil ex-boss Ursula, don't you? Trick got fired!
As much as I loathe being spiteful, I have to say that this couldn't have happened to a more deserving person. I'm impressed by the speed with which she was unceremoniously thrown out on her caboose. I worked for that corporation for quite some time, and they generally give management ample rope to hang themselves with before making a move. Getting canned in under three months is all at once astonishing and extremely validating. I'd like to celebrate with a song and dance. I can't use the song I want. Stinkin' copyright infringement...but you know it anyway:
She's gone where the goblins go below,
Below, below, yo-ho

Let's open up and sing
and ring the bells out

Ding-dong the merry-oh
sing it high, sing it low

Let them know the wicked witch is dead!

...picture me struttin' that ass to this song.

I don't know who delivered the fatal blow. I'm assuming it was my Fairy Godmother. I'd like to send her a singing telegram from The Lullaby League and The Lollipop Guild, for she will be a bust, be a bust, be a bust in the Hall of Fame!
I can't say I'm loving this vindictive streak I'm experiencing. I'm not one to wish harm upon people. I have always hated the expression, "I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy." Don't you find it off-putting? Undoubtedly, whenever somebody uses that expression, they are referring to things that are truly horrible, like cancer, house fires, and dead puppies. You wouldn't wish that on your worst enemy? REALLY?! Sure, I can be a salty bitch when needed, but even I don't use that expression or wish things on my enemies. Ok, maybe I'd wish a few things on my enemies:

1. I've wished for them to get fat.
2. I've wished for them to be audited by the IRS.
3. I've wished for them to lose their job or for their business to fail.

There, I said it. Feel free to judge me. I'm still flying high on the news of Ursula's demise.

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