Here in Texas, we like our firearms, but this is a little ridiculous. I hope Jarred realizes that any email he sends me related to his crazy, dysfunctional co-workers is subject to publishing on this blog:
Overheard a conversation between my boss, his youngest son, and his wife. This is a direct transcript to the best of my recollection. My boss has undiagnosed OCD/Tourette's so the repetition was not embellished.
Andy: Got a notice today that a house was broken into down the street.
Boss: You need to get a shotgun.
Andy: It said no one was home but they took the TV and computers.
Boss: Shotgun, shotgun, shotgun
Andy: Well I was thinking about an alarm
Boss: shotgun, shotgun, shotgun, shotgun
Andy: I don't know if that'd help, I went to my friends house and he has a loaded gun in the kitchen drawer, several guns in a safe, and a loaded gun on his nightstand that he puts on top of his Bible every night.
Boss: No, shotgun, shotgun, don't get a pistol. You get a pistol and you will shoot yourself in the leg or the gut. No one ever shoots themself with a shotgun.
Jarred: Tell that to Kurt Cobain.
Boss: And if you get a pistol a robber will just steal it.
Wife: Why would the robber steal a pistol but not a shotgun?
Boss: Nah he needs a shotgun. shotgun, shotgun
I considered myself a pretty conservative person before i started working here. a straight forward republican. but this conversation made my skin crawl. made me want to drive a hybrid. made me want to vote for Ralph Nader. made me want to live in a tree in Berkley, CA. this place is turning me into a bleeding heart liberal!
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