My Pregnancy Education

We've reached the halfway point in this pregnancy, and I've shared very little about it. Fortunately, there's not much to tell. It's a healthy pregnancy, and frankly, why would I go into detail telling a boring pregnancy story, when movies like Baby Mama do it so much better?

"Holy shit! There's a baby in there?!"

"Yep."

"How the hell did it get in there?"

"It's a MIRACLE."

That's basically what my ultrasounds during the first trimester seemed like. I was fortunate to be spared most of the unpleasant and typical pregnancy symptoms we are all familiar with, like debilitating nausea, food aversions, food cravings, smell sensitivity...so these ultrasounds were what grounded me in the reality that there was in fact a baby on board.

I haven't done a whole ton to prepare. In fact, if pregnancy were a job for which I was paid a salary, I'd probably get fired for not knowing what the hell is going on half the time! I just go with the flow. For someone who loves to talk, I find myself with surprisingly few questions on the subject of babies. I tell myself that the questions will come to me as they become applicable. Maybe I'm overwhelmed. Regardless of my lack of questions, I decided that a little information never hurt anybody, and so I did a little reading. Perhaps these books would give me answers to the questions I should be asking...if I had even the slightest element of curiosity. With so many books out there on the subject, here are the ones I chose:

What to Expect When You're Expecting: they should just issue this to expectant mothers when you arrive at your first OB visit. Is there a single mom in the last 20 years who hasn't read this? I won't lie, this is not a page-turner, but it is a pregnancy must-have. I do think Steve has gotten more out of it than I have.

The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy: this book is supposed to share what your doctor won't tell you. I suppose if I had questions, or if I had started reading this book before my 5th month, I would find it more helpful. Don't get me wrong, it's a fine book, but at this point, I've already figured out most of what the "Girlfriends" are so graciously sharing with me. I can sum up what they've taught me in a couple of short phrases: you're gonna get fat and there's nothing you can do about it, and go buy a new bra.

Belly Laughs: Pregnancy has never been so...graphic. Or messy. Jenny McCarthy's humorous and lighthearted pregnancy memoir relives her pregnancy with all the slapstick humor of one of her boyfriend Jim Carrey's movies, and reassures us that every nasty little experience you're having is normal, and that pregnancy is disgusting.

Knocked Up: Confessions of a Hip Mother-to-Be: This is another memoir, this time by a columnist who I think fancies herself the Canadian Carrie Bradshaw. Her obvious contempt for the way her inconsiderate little fetus cramped her social life during her unplanned pregnancy made me feel uncomfortable.

That's all for now. Has anyone out there read another pregnancy book that they found helpful?