Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Paranormal Pooch

Tales of the paranormal are so hot now. Here's a re-telling of my conversation with a friend about my own brush with The Beyond:

Friend: Have you seen the previews for that movie Paranormal State? It looks so scary! Like, what if a ghost was in my house?
Me (with no inflection): I had a ghost in my house.
Friend: Really?
Me: Yeah. It was a friendly ghost. Like Casper.
Friend: How do you know it was a friendly ghost?
Me: Why would I be visited by an angry ghost? I'm lovely.
Friend: Oh. Right. So how did you know there was a ghost?
Me: George saw it. Animals and children can see spirits.
Friend: Wow. So what did George do?
Me: Well, he woke me up in the middle of the night barking his head off. I got out of bed to see what the fuss was about and he was just standing in the middle of the living room...barking at nothing. But his eyes were fixed, like he totally saw something. He looked scared. At first I thought he was just crazy, but when I looked at my clock and realized it was The Haunting Hour...that's when I knew. This happened three nights in a row.
Friend (stunned): The Haunting Hour? What's that?
Me: It's when paranormal activity reaches a fever pitch and it's the best time to communicate with those who have passed over. It's like, between 2 and 3 in the morning. So then if you have a ghost, you just confront it, acknowledge its presence, and release it.
Friend: How do you know that?
Me (expressionless): Everybody knows that.
Friend: what did you do after you saw him barking at the ghost?
Me: I put on a robe. I was underdressed for visitors.