I Might Be a Grown-Up If...

...I rip-off a fifteen-year-old Jeff Foxworthy joke for the title of my post. Ugh. I am so trite. As I mentioned before, I'm catching myself in little moments throughout my day that make me feel like such a grown-up adult-type lady. Here are just a few:

I referred to a female high school student as a "little girl"

Who's that old hag calling a "little girl"? Certainly not us!

I have very strong, positive feelings about both my Shark Steam Mop and my Dyson vacuum.

While discussing household cleaning products on the phone with my friend Kristen the other day (as you do), she told me she had considered purchasing a Dyson during an after-Thanksgiving sale (they normally retail at $550 and up). My exact words: "Oh, you must buy one. It will change your life." Yeah. I said that. Full disclosure: Steve gave it to me as an Easter gift two years ago, and I was thrilled.

I am suddenly very concerned with preventing limescale and rust buildup in my dishwasher.

We must stop it!

Issues of Redbook have inexplicably begun appearing in my mailbox, much to my delight.

All my life, Redbook has been a "grown-up ladies'" magazine. Not like Seventeen, which 12-year-olds begin reading because they think it's for high school girls. By sophomore year, Seventeen readers graduate to Cosmopolitan, because 15-year-olds think it's written for 21-year-olds. But guess what? You won't find a 21-year-old girl casually picking up Redbook because she thinks it speaks to the hip, sophisticated woman she wishes to embody. Redbook doesn't represent the type of woman you aspire to be. It represents the woman you inevitably become. My early twenties were spent flipping through the pages of Vogue and Harper's Bazaar, which, while beautiful and entertaining, celebrate a sort of upper-class, jet-setting fashionista lifestyle that is so far beyond my reach, it's completely unrelatable. It's all highly impractical, and filled with ads for shoes and handbags that cost more than our mortgage. Now, Redbook...these editors know their audience. Their content speaks to me. Quick, easy recipes to cook for dinner tonight? Where to find this season's tasteful, stylish trends at affordable prices? Weight loss tips? Stress reducers? Tips on how to make more quality time with your husband? Yeah, it's all in there. It's just been waiting for me to realize that yes, I'm old enough to read Redbook. It's not a glamorous life, but it's my life.

When my mom asked me what I wanted for my last birthday, I asked her to paint the interior trim of my house.

Maybe if there's time later, we can steam clean the carpets or clean out the gutters. It is my birthday after all. We should spend it doing something special.