Happy Birthday to Three Mutts and a Baby!

I started Three Mutts and a Baby one year ago today, because I was nearing the halfway point in my pregnancy and wanted to create a place where I could share my pregnancy and other updates with my closest friends, with whom I felt I was quickly losing touch. 333 posts later, I've discussed everything from pregnancy to pop culture to my day-to-day life and shared it publicly. Truth be told, I don't even think that the girlfriends I originally intended this blog for actually read it. If they have, they haven't told me.

Even still, the response to my blog has been a lovely surprise. Since I began monitoring the site traffic in May 2010, the blog has received over 50,000 page views, and I'm currently averaging over 250 hits a day. Not too shabby. I have reconnected with childhood friends who I thought had long forgotten me, I have made new friends, and have even grown a modest readership of people whom I've never met. I love the comments I receive on my posts, and seeing the number of blog "Followers" grow encourages me to keep blogging. So, if you haven't already, "Follow" me by clicking the "Follow" button to the right of this post! Ok, I'm done whoring out my blog for the time being.

If I look back at the posts I've written over the past year, it's interesting to see how the blog has evolved. I wrote about my mutts, pregnancy, and married life a lot in the beginning, with a few posts about my job sprinkled in for added flavor. Then, having run out of anything interesting to say about the mutts, but with an abundance of free time sitting at a computer in a quiet office alone every day, I discussed my thoughts on celebrity gossip and pop culture, as I consider myself an authority on the subject.

Once I was no longer pregnant or working outside the home, I thought I might run out of things to blog about. For a while, I did. My computer time is only a fraction of what it once was, so my pop culture and celebrity gossip pieces are now few and far between. They didn't get much response anyway. Now I mostly write about motherhood, the posts readers seem to like best.

I just want to give a big, heartfelt "Thanks!" to everyone who has supported my blogging endeavor. Writing is my only creative outlet, and writing is meant to be read, so I sort of couldn't do this without you. I appreciate all the comments and kind words. Especially as a new mom, I value this blog because it has created a network and support system between me and other moms, and that is priceless.

To celebrate one year of blogging, I'm listing my ten eleven favorite posts:

1. Meet the Mutts | The post that started it all.
2. An Open Letter to Jessica Simpson | Someone needs to lend her a clue.
3. I'm on a Non-Plan Plan  | I mock the idea of choosing my "birth experience".
4. Rumer Willis Syndrome | I contemplate having an ugly baby.
5. 14 Facebook Status Updates: Which type are you posting, and do your Friends appreciate them? | Don't be #5. Nobody likes that guy.
6. Un-Break My Heart | Grieving the death of four celebrity marriages.
7. My Day at the Hospital | Laughter through uncontrollable puking is my favorite emotion.
8. Laney Goes to College | A walk of shame down Memory Lane.
9. Because They Don't Come With Instructions... | We are not qualified to care for a baby.
10. Bitchface Goes to the Mall | Because Bitch needs new shoes.
11. I DO Want to Express Myself, and I Don't Need 37 Pieces of Flair to Do It. | A workplace rant.

Big Thanks for the Overwhelming Response to My Camera Query

I tell you what, I sent out an all-points bulletin asking for help with the tremendous FAIL that I call "photography", and you guys banded together like Dr. House's brilliant diagnosticians, generously offering solutions to my problem. A BIG "Thank you!" So, which one of you is Dr. House in this scenario? Well, that would be Anna, with a nod to Angie for co-signing Anna's diagnosis. I'll share everything I learned, and perhaps those of you who replied that you can't help me because your pictures suck too, well--this is for you! I'm paying it forward.

My Biggest Problem: Poor lighting
This may sound ridiculous to photographers and photography enthusiasts, but I made absolutely no connection between a blurry photo and poor lighting. When Anna deduced that dim lighting was to blame for my crappy pictures, I decided to get to work. I turned on both living room lamps, the overhead lights in the living room and adjoining kitchen (there was a big difference when even the kitchen light was left off!) and I opened all the blinds to let as much natural light in as possible (turns out I'm a vampire who prefers to live in darkness. Also, my exterior windows are in great need of cleaning) and after doing all this, my pictures were crisp and colorful. Note: This did not exempt me from using a flash. Without a flash, I still had blurriness.

Before: using a flash and whatever natural light streamed through the house. See, not terribly "dark", but blurry nonetheless

No flash, overhead light is on, with a moderate amount of natural sunlight (curtains aren't fully open). Notice the blurry burp cloth and feet.

Same as before, but now I'm using the flash. You can't tell Rob is kicking wildly and waving the burp cloth!

Following Anna's instructions to the letter: Every available light is on, all the blinds are open, flash is on.

Adjust the Settings
I played around with the camera's settings. I had avoided doing so up until now, because I had no understanding of what these settings mean, or why I would need to adjust them, so I would have just been arbitrarily pushing buttons. And, if I was just blindly changing settings, I was afraid of messing something up and not knowing how to un-do it. I am unable to adjust the shutter speed, but there is one setting (Auto Mode) out of the eighteen shooting modes on the camera that allows me to adjust ISO. I do not know what ISO does exactly, but I know it is an important feature in DSLR cameras, as all the blogs and message boards I read when researching cameras and photography talked about aperture and ISO constantly. I eventually abandoned the idea of getting a DSLR camera of my own when I was unable to grasp even the most basic concepts that were being discussed on these message boards. Anna helped me out by not getting bogged down in the techical terms, but by explaining it to me like I'm five: "The higher the ISO, the grainier the picture". So, I still don't know what ISO is, but I now know what it means to adjust ISO, and that's good enough for me.

"Auto" Doesn't Know Best
Because I was so intimidated by this technology, I felt it best to respect the "Auto" settings. Don't think, let the camera make all the decisions. Once I decided to grow a pair and do this my way, I noticed a vast improvement in the quality of photos. Most of these settings involved the type of flash being used, and the auto focus feature.

Choose an Appropriate Setting
I was stubbornly using the "Night Landscape" shooting mode for all my indoor photos, because it did not use a flash or a flickering red-eye eliminating feature, and it gave all my pictures a warm glow. And one picture out of every forty was clear enough to be a usable photo. I don't consider this a success. Most of these shooting modes do not allow me to adjust the variables, but I now know which shooting modes do, and which shooting modes are appropriate for the pictures I'm taking. Continuous shooting does not use a flash, but Subject Tracking does. The Portrait setting, in the absence of a more fitting choice, like "Children" or "Pets", consistently takes clear pictures in a well-lit room. I select the regular flash in favor of the flash with the red-eye eliminator (Rob doesn't like it). Auto Mode, contrary to its name, allows for the most manipulation of settings and features, which I find helpful. It has just now occured to me that it is possible that some of the settings I select or adjust in Auto Mode may carry over into other shooting modes. I don't know if this is true, but it would make sense.

Consult the Manual
If your TV isn't working and you call the manufacturer for help, the first question they ask is, "Is the TV plugged in?" They're not trying to be insulting, but they need to establish that this is not the problem, before troubleshooting a bigger problem. In that spirit, I was asked if I had read my user manual by a fellow Nikon user (though she is a Nikon DSLR user, not point-and-shoot). This got me thinking. Wondering whether all this confusion could have been avoided had I taken a little more time to educate myself with the User Manual (which I was pretty sure I read from cover-to-cover when I first opened the camera two months ago), I decided to take a second look. It's actually called a "Quick Start Guide", which tells you how to take a picture, but not how to take a good picture. Included is a CD-ROM "User Manual", which I probably read briefly a couple months ago. I pop the CD into the drive and take another look. Sure enough, on page 61 out of 220 of this PDF file, under the heading "More on Shooting" and under the sub-heading "ISO Sensitivity" a subtle clue:

"Although higher ISO sensitivity is effective when shooting darker subjects, shooting without the flash, shooting with the camera zoomed in, etc., images may contain noise."

I have figured out over the course of my research that noise = blurry-ass picture

A second clue found within the user manual, under the aptly titled "Troubleshooting" header:

• Use flash
• Enable vibration reduction or motion detection
• Use BSS (best shot selector)
• Use tripod and self-timer

Conclusion: Perhaps I had the answers all along, if only I had taken time to sift through the available information? But what's the fun in that? So I should also say thank you, Laura, for helping me help myself! I will probably spend a few minutes here and there getting myself edumacated [(c)Jessica Simpson] on how to properly use the various shooting modes of my camera.

I Get By with a Little Help from My Friends
All that being said, I was often using my flash and still ending up with blurry pictures. Thanks to Anna, I finally got the message about how important lighting truly is. I think sometimes it's just better when a friend helps you solve a problem.

On to My Next Quandary
If anyone would be so kind as to offer any chestnuts of wisdom that can improve my photographic composition, I'm all ears!

In Need of Some Photography Expertise

I got a brand new Nikon Coolpix S8100 for Christmas, and have been having a good time developing my skills and learning the camera's features. I have been having some difficulty, which I am more inclined to believe is the result of human error rather than any shortcomings from the camera. I have learned in researching cameras that there is a whole language to photography, and I don't speak it.

The Nikon Coolpix S8100 is a point-and-shoot camera that says it boasts a lot of features available on a DSLR, but without the expense, the equipment, or the need of a skilled photographer. I am an amateur with no aspirations of doing anything more than taking the best possible pictures of my family. I do not expect my photos to be of the same quality of a DSLR or for my photography skills to even come close to such results. Just wanna put that out there so that the photographers and photography buffs who I am desperately seeking guidance from will not be insulted thinking I'm trying to create photos as beautiful as theirs with a point-and-shoot. Not the case.

In case this information is helpful, the Nikon has a 10x optical zoom, and allows me to select features such as: night landscape, night portrait, backlighting, indoor/party, and auto mode. I have been experimenting with the different features, with varied results. I promise to be brief, but if ANYBODY has a suggestion, I would be so grateful. If you know what it's like to try and capture an adorable moment with a baby, only to have the picture turn out poorly and the moment is now over, you understand my frustration.

This is what I would consider to be a "good" picture. At least, good for me. I use the Night Landscape option, I think it makes a nice warm glow in the picture. The downside is that if the subject is in motion, the image will be blurry. If you look closely, you'll notice that the image on Robinson's shirt is slightly blurred because he isn't perfectly still. This is a big problem with babies, not being still.

 This is what I get when I use Night Landscape and my subject(s) are in motion.

 Night Portrait is surprisingly worse, given its name.

I believe this is Auto Mode or Indoor/Party, without the flash. The camera features a flashing red light that flickers before taking the picture. It's to prevent red-eye, but I call it the "smile killer", as this was supposed to be a moment capturing Robinson's adorable smile. Until the red light flickered and he made this face. I imagine as he gets older, this will be less of a problem. Another thing I don't understand: clearly, this is a series of photos taken at the same time, with the same external factors. So why is one picture so much blurrier than the other? I may have chosen a different feature, like Subject Tracking, in the second photo.

 I try to use the optical zoom, rather than holding the camera closer to the subjects, but sometimes it's still overexposed. Sometimes, a bright flash in a baby's face is a bad thing.

This photo was either Subject Tracking or Auto Mode (if it's important to know which, I can take more pictures, but honestly they all turn out this way.) There must be some kind of shutter speed setting that I can adjust in the camera so that this won't happen.

I purposefully chose a high-end point and shoot so I could take beautiful pictures without needing to make a big investment. Now, I'm having to take 40 blurry, over-exposed pictures in order to get one good picture. I know I'm doing something wrong here, and I'm feeling frustrated and overwhelmed. Help me!

Hairy Tales

I've mentioned that my son recently turned seven months old. In related news, a riddle: What has two thumbs, a huge ass and is still saddled with unwanted baby poundage? This girl. I just realized that joke doesn't work if you can't see me point to myself with both thumbs. Pretend you saw that.

Anyway, as a motivator on my weight loss journey, I have devised a reward system with designated prizes as I achieve certain weight loss milestones. I am proud and relieved that as of this morning, I have earned...wait for it...a haircut.

Yes, I have taken things that we consider to be basic American rights, like haircuts and pedicures, and I am holding them hostage in hopes of motivating myself to succeed. So I haven't had a professional haircut since June. It's beyond scraggly at this point, which just adds insult to injury. The injury, of course, having a donkey butt.

Haircuts have been big news in recent weeks. Tween Idol Justin Bieber got a funky-fresh new look for spring:

At a glance, I thought this looked exactly like his old haircut, with perhaps a different styling product or technique, but entertainment journalists insist that these are two totally different hairstyles. I choose to believe the entertainment journalists, as they are paid to know these things. Sidenote: I love his delicate features. I wish I could carry him around with me in a knapsack, and take him out whenever I'm feeling sad.

Tired of Bieber's fancy hair stealing the spotlight from her legendary mane, Jennifer Aniston changed her hair as well. This is newsworthy for two reasons: 1. Jen hasn't changed her hair in ten years; 2. Everything Jen does makes news.

"Jen hasn't changed her hair in ten years," said the pot to the kettle. I could say the same thing about myself, but like Jen, my hair is one of the best things I have going for me, so it would be foolish to hack it off. I am looking for something that is manageable without being matronly, makes a cute ponytail, and looks good as it grows out--in case I happen to go another eight months without a haircut. What I would like is to cut as much off as possible and still have "long" hair. Err...I want to have the shortest possible hair that can still be considered "long". Am I making any sense? I better learn how to articulate this vision before visiting my hairstylist. Maybe I'll just show him this picture:

Robinson is 7 Months Old!

It is common practice among new mothers to photograph their child each month, seated in a chair with a stuffed animal as a frame of reference to show how their little angel has grown and changed. Not to be outdone, I photograph Robinson in a chair with a real animal. Laney and Robinson really hit it out of the park with their six month photo, so I had high hopes for yesterday's photo shoot. It should be noted that I took over 40 pictures of them before selecting this winner, which happened to be the third snap. I have to say--this was not the look I was going for--but Rob and Laney give good face, don't they? The way they are casually draped over the furniture, seemingly oblivious to one another, and looking totally indifferent, it reminds one of a Vanity Fair cover, or a Kardsashian Kristmas Kard:

Ba-da-ba-ba-ba, I'm lovin' it.

So, Robinson is seven months old. This is an interesting time in a baby's life, because a number of major milestones are on the horizon. Robinson could very well hit any of these milestones today. Or in three months. It would appear that Robinson has filed for an extension on achieving these milestones. Hey, if you can get an extension on filing your tax return, why can't Rob get an extension on crawling? It's like he knows that as soon as he can move freely through the house, Mama's gonna put a Dirt Devil in his chubby little hands and ask him to pitch in with the housework. I kid. Here's a rundown:

Sitting
Robinson demonstrates that he is fully capable of sitting upright without assistance, but nobody ever told him. Last week, it occurred to me that maybe I should tell him that he can sit up. It's literally the very least I could do. So, I propped him up in a seated position and handed him his plastic car keys. He was so delighted and distracted by this shiny colorful object (he takes after his mama), that he actually held this upright seated position for several seconds. I was cheering for him and offering positive reinforcement (isn't that what you mothers do?) That's when he realized he was sitting up by himself and he began to panic. I asked him, "Rob, you're sitting up. Has this idea ever crossed your mind?" It's a valid question. Hell, for all I know, he's drifting off to sleep every night in his little baby bed, where he dreams little baby dreams of sitting up by himself...if only he could figure out how. That's where I come in. Robinson's eyes are screaming. He tips over, and cries. Shake it off, buddy. We'll try again in a week or two.


This is Robinson sitting for a brief, though glorious moment

 Crawling
I'm often asked whether or not Robinson is crawling yet. It seems a little early for that. The short answer is "No". But there is no such thing as a short answer when talking about your baby, haven't you figured that out yet? We always have to describe things, qualify our statements, defend and explain. I'm always asked the follow-up question: "But he's scooting, right?" I have no idea what "scooting" is, but I sort of figured that I'd know it when I see it. Robinson rolls. He shimmies. He slithers. He rotates. He travels.


This is Robinson not crawling.

Teething

The poor little guy is miserable. And he has no use for teething rings, despite my encouragement. Libby finds them delightful, though. Tylenol and Baby Orajel help ease his suffering, and I know we'll all feel some relief when those little teeth cut through.

Mallory the Monkey

Family Guy's Stewie has Rupert, and Robinson has Mallory the Monkey.

She's more exotic than the traditional teddy bear--she's a red monkey dressed as a hula dancer. What could be more fun? She's more than a basic stuffed animal. She jiggles when you yank her cord (giggity) and she holds in her hands a pineapple that rattles and a fish that jingles. Robinson is especially fond of the pineapple. Every time I look at him in his car seat or stroller when he's by himself with the Monkey, he's always clutching the pineapple. Always the pineapple. Here are some outtakes from the Seven Month photo shoot, where I gave up on getting a smile and tossed the Monkey onto the chair beside him.



"Would you care for a pineapple?"



"You wouldn't? What a shame. Whatever shall I do with the pineapple?"



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