Libra Liasons

I have a friend named Amy. We live in the same neighborhood, in houses with nearly identical floorplans. We each got married in 2006 and have three dogs a piece. We are both long-time subscribers to Us Weekly, have a weakness for reality television, love Tex Mex, and have a penchant for acrylic nails. Suffice to say, Amy and I share common interests and personality traits. All that aside, it's quite possible that the glue that holds our friendship together is that we are both Libras.

What is a Libra, you ask? Well, besides being the astrological sign for all those born between September 24 and October 23, symbolized by scales, we share a set of personality traits that distinguish us from those born under different signs:

 Libra traits include:

Diplomatic and urbane

Romantic and charming

Easygoing and sociable

Idealistic and peaceable

Indecisive and changeable

Gullible and easily influenced

Flirtatious and self-indulgent

That's so totally me, right? So, here's what happens when two Libras dine out. Propelled by Amy's craving for fried okra, we visited The Cotton Patch Cafe, and this is the exchange that occured between the two of us in response to our waiter's question: "Would you like more rolls or cornbread?"

Me: Do you want more bread?
Amy: Do you?
Me: I could go for more bread. You know, if you'd like more bread...
Amy: More bread sounds good.
Me: Would you like regular rolls or cornbread?
Amy: I don't know, what do you think?
Me: The rolls were good, but I also like cornbread.
Amy: I like cornbread.
Me: Cornbread is delicious.
Amy: The rolls were good, too.
Me: Yeah they were.
Amy: Hmm...would you rather-
Waiter: How's about I bring a little bit of both?
Amy and Me: Great!

See how that played out? Because we're diplomatic, we're each trying to let the other one choose and so we go round and round. And since we're both indecisive we can't choose. If our husbands (both Geminis) had been there, this conversation never would have taken place. Before we could utter the first word, one of the men would have said "Yes" and that would have been the end of it. Yes, they think we're ridiculous.

This story is really not worth mentioning, but I think it helps to frame what Steve told me later that same evening about his day at work:

"This guy [comes into the golf shop] buys a black hat. Five minutes later, he returns. I help him exchange the black hat for a white hat, and he leaves. Five minutes later, he comes back again. He  exchanges the white hat back to the black hat. He completely left the store, drove off, and then returned twice because he couldn't decide what color hat he wanted."

Steve: Are you a Libra?
Indecisive Hat Buyer: I don't know.
Steve: When is your birthday?
Indecisive Hat Buyer: October.
Steve: Early or late October?
Indecisive Hat Buyer: October 10th.
Steve: Yep, you're a Libra. My wife is a Libra, so I have some experience in these matters.
Indecisive Hat Buyer: What does that mean?
Steve: Maybe you should consider buying both hats?

What a Girl Wants

As some of you know, I'm kind of a beauty product junkie. I just love to try new things, especially if a friend, a magazine, or a cosmetics counter makeup artist tells me it's fabulous. The cosmetics counter chicks love to see me coming. I'm like a moth to a flame, powerless to resist their sales pitches. I once spent $60 on a Yves Saint Laurent Limited Edition err...something or other. Honestly, I don't think it does anything. Angelique said it was the hottest beauty item at New York's Fashion Week and that all the runway models can't live without it. It makes their pores invisible. I exclaimed, "I want invisible pores!" There's a sucker born every minute, yes?

That said, I embrace drugstore bargains and I recognize the value of high-priced department store items. Yes, I am a complex creature. I also exhibit a willingness to shell out untold dollars on items I would consider "necessary" that most reasonable women would consider "frivolous". Nowadays, I am attempting to streamline my beauty regimen and sift through what's fluff and what's fantastic, opting for long-lasting, multi-purpose, affordable alternatives when possible. This is partly because I know that motherhood will require that I simplify my life in all areas, and partly because I am reaching an age where 1) I do not have the energy or enthusiasm for the drawn-out daily primping of my college years, 2) Looking like a drag queen is rarely acceptable given my current lifestyle. 3) My previous cosmetics habits will soon be cost-prohibitive.

It first occured to me to catalogue my beauty favorites blog-style during a particularly long commute to work where I attempted to mentally list my beauty needs. I was delighted when, later the next day, I read my pal Natalie's blog post on her beauty must-haves. Check it out for some terrific tips and insight. Now, on to my own list. I chose not to make this list comprehensive because I'm only attesting to those products for which I have the most loyalty. One such item to not make the list is an eyelash curler. I own both the Maybelline ($5) and the acclaimed Shu Uemura ($19) and guess what? They both curl eyelashes nicely. Some of these products are quite pricey, so I think it's worth noting that, with the exception of mascara, no product has lasted me less than six months. I definitely get my money's worth with these bad boys. 

SKINCARE

CLEANSER: Visual Changes Ultra Gentle Enzyme Cleanser ($30)*
SERUM: SkinCeuticals C E Ferulic ($142)
EYE CREAM: Obagi ELASTIderm Eye Cream ($95)
MOISTURIZER + SPF: Jergens Natural Glow Healthy Complexion Daily Facial Moisturizer ($8.49)
TOOL: Clarisonic Skin Cleaning System ($149-$225)**

COSMETICS

PRIMER: ColoreScience Skin Bronzing Primer SPF 20 Wild to Mild ($45)***
CONCEALER: Laura Mercier Secret Concealer ($22)
BLUSH: Nars Orgasm Illuminator ($29)
EYE PRIMER: Laura Mercier Eye Basics ($24)
EYE SHADOW: Trish McEvoy Glaze Eye Shadow White Peach and Topaz ($16)
EYELINER: Trish McEvoy Eye Definer and Finish Line ($16 and $22)
MASCARA: Lancome L'Extreme Waterproof ($24.50)****
LIP GLOSS: Chanel Glossimer Sunset Gold ($27.50)
TOOL: Trish McEvoy brushes ($20 and up)

BODY

LOTION: Kiehl's Creme de Corps ($27)
LOTION WITH SUNLESS TANNER: Jergens Natural Glow Revitalizing Daily Moisturizer ($8.49)

HAIR

SHAMPOO: Bumble and bumble. Thickening Shampoo ($21)*****
CONDITIONER: Bumble and bumble. Thickening Conditioner ($22)
STYLING PRODUCT: Bumble and bumble. Styling Lotion ($23)
TOOL: Conair Instant Heat Jumbo and Super Jumbo Hot Rollers ($30)

*This is not widely available, but it gently cleanses and exfoliates so brilliantly, I'd swim a mile through Ivory Soap to get me some.
**This may seem unnecessary, but I declare that my face was never truly clean before I used this. Washing my face without it seems about as beneficial as brushing my teeth with my index finger.
***Another treasure not easy to find, it provides necessary sun protection, soothes redness, leaves skin silky smooth, and provides a hint of color to leave you with an even tone you look like you were born with. The reason I don't list a favorite foundation or powder is that thanks to this primer, I don't need it.
****This one is a trick question. My favorite mascara was a $4 tube of Maybelline that was discontinued in 2003. Since that time, I have tried over 25 different mascaras (yes, I counted) in search of a suitable replacement. This. Is. It.
*****In my never-ending quest to have the most luscious hair in the land, I have tried everything. The most important lesson I have learned is that, for the most part, all these products make my hair look the same. I am a firm believer in the value and superior quality of salon brands--and a great haircut. Beyond that, I reach a point where "more expensive" does not equal "better hair". Bumble and bumble products strike the balance I need: solid product, not the most expensive. It's a Lexus.

Paranormal Pooch

Tales of the paranormal are so hot now. Here's a re-telling of my conversation with a friend about my own brush with The Beyond:

Friend: Have you seen the previews for that movie Paranormal State? It looks so scary! Like, what if a ghost was in my house?

Me (with no inflection): I had a ghost in my house.

Friend: Really?

Me: Yeah. It was a friendly ghost. Like Casper.

Friend: How do you know it was a friendly ghost?

Me: Why would I be visited by an angry ghost? I'm lovely.

Friend: Oh. Right. So how did you know there was a ghost?

Me: George saw it. Animals and children can see spirits.

Friend: Wow. So what did George do?

Me: Well, he woke me up in the middle of the night barking his head off. I got out of bed to see what the fuss was about and he was just standing in the middle of the living room...barking at nothing. But his eyes were fixed, like he totally saw something. He looked scared. At first I thought he was just crazy, but when I looked at my clock and realized it was The Haunting Hour...that's when I knew. This happened three nights in a row.

Friend (stunned): The Haunting Hour? What's that?

Me: It's when paranormal activity reaches a fever pitch and it's the best time to communicate with those who have passed over. It's like, between 2 and 3 in the morning. So then if you have a ghost, you just confront it, acknowledge its presence, and release it.

Friend: How do you know that?

Me (expressionless): Everybody knows that.

Friend: Whoa...so what did you do after you saw him barking at the ghost?

Me: I put on a robe. I was underdressed for visitors.

Peanut Butter Jelly Time

Libby is the dog I could set my watch by. And by "watch" I mean the clock on my cell phone. She always knows when it's 6:00 pm. That's when she demands dinner. She finds me wherever I am in the house and begins to howl, growl, bark, jump, dance, just be really obnoxious, until I feed her. I affectionately refer to this as "Peanut Butter Jelly Time". Since I am with-child, I have trained her not to tackle me while trying to scoop the food from their big canister in the pantry. It really ticks me off when I'm standing there, scoop of food in hand, and she pounces on me; sending kibble flying. And she never wants to clean up after herself. Typical. After I serve dinner, she takes a warning lap around the kitchen growling at the other dogs, just to let them know that she is the protector of the food and that if they so much as try to eyeball her bowl, they're dead meat. She's a badass. Then she inhales her dinner and sits in the living room watching the others, hoping they get full or distracted so she can clean their plates.

Laney takes about an hour to eat a cup of dog food. Steve estimates that she eats it one kibble at a time, pausing in between bites to wag her tail, bat her eyelashes and be a beautiful lady. And like a true lady, she does not like to be photographed while eating. Sometimes she pretends she's not hungry, so that I cheer her on to eat. "Who's my pretty girl? My little girl needs to eat her supper! Yes she does!" Yes, I say these things to her. I think she has an eating disorder. She's an attention-seeker at the very least. I don't know what else to do.

George gets distracted midway through his meal and goes to the girls' bowls (they are all positioned throughout the kitchen) to see what they're having for dinner. Maybe it's something super yummy and exciting? No. George is turning four this month, and every day of his life he has been served the same food as his sisters. But every day he has to go check out their bowls, just to see what they're having, even though he still has plenty of his own food. I become a referee in my own kitchen and the food police.

Why can't they be as adorable as this little puppy eating his food?

Ok, maybe my dogs looked cute too when they were puppies...

(note: my kitchen is no longer this color)

The past few days, Libby doesn't even bother to finish her food. She mopes around Steve and me and jockeys for attention while the others are eating. It's so not like her to pass up a meal. Yesterday, I was in my closet hanging up clothes and walked out into the bedroom to find her lying on the bed half-heartedly. One long leg was dangling off the side like she couldn't be bothered to climb all the way onto the bed and her big chocolate Milk Dud eyes were just staring off into space. Hugs and kisses from me weren't even met with a tail thump. What is wrong with my spunkiest pup? Turns out, a little alfresco dining was just what the doctor ordered. I walked her outside onto the patio with her food bowl and sat with her (not on the patio furniture, on the actual patio so she could be near me) and I read a couple chapters of Chelsea Handler's new book.

All three of my dogs love it when I sit outside with them. They prefer the outdoors, but they're very attached to me, so when I am home they choose to stay indoors with me. Before the hot Texas sun drives me indoors for the duration of summer I need to take the time to enjoy the fresh air with my pups.

A Bed for an Eggplant

Ladies and gentlemen, I am 25 weeks pregnant today! That means I'm taking my victory lap for the second trimester and preparing to embark on the final leg of this marathon journey - the third trimester. [cue dramatic music - make it the Chariots of Fire theme]  What can I tell you about Robinson today? Let's see, he is the size of an eggplant. That's a respectable piece of produce in my opinion, so I'm pleased to learn this. Also, his eyes are forming...sort of thought that happened already when they told me last month that his face was "fully formed" (is a face complete without the eyeballs? I think not), but I'm glad it's happening now. Steve was able to feel him kick for the first time this week, so that was exciting.

We purchased his crib last week. It's a real beaut'. Straight from Pottery Barn Kids, the "Kendall Crib" arrived via UPS on Thursday. I expect we'll be putting it together within the next couple days. And by "we" I really do mean "we", but we'll see how that goes.

I know, you can't exactly visualize what our darling boy's nursery will look like based on this, but let me just tell you, the search for this crib, simple as it is, was aggravating enough to make me consider using a dresser drawer instead (hey, it was good enough for my Nannie.) The thing that was most frustrating was that I was not particularly picky. It's not as if I had imagined this fantastic, perfect crib and then went off in search of it, settling for nothing short of greatness. It's a crib, people. I just wanted something safe, sturdy and affordable that would fit in with the decor of the room. This includes my mom's gliding rocker and my dresser from childhood. This proved to be a tall order. I searched high and low, and everything was either too big, too dark, too expensive, too light, too flimsy...I felt like Goldilocks. I needed a crib that was just right. And when I finally found it, Steve didn't question me for a second (he must have heard the relief in my voice that our seach was over) and so he agreed to the purchase of a $400 crib that he had never seen before.

It truly is a relief and a great accomplishment to be able to cross this item off our to-do list. I would have never imagined how stressed out I would feel over not being able to find the right crib. As I would search store after store I would think, "Great. I can't even choose a crib for the kid. How will I handle actual parenting? I'm a failure already!" Now that the crib is here, I'm back to feeling like a Supermom in the making.